As you can all bet Kelley and my lives have changed dramatically in the past few weeks. What use to be a life filled with we, me, we...is now filled with what can we do to calm little Sara.
It turns out, in talking with both Kelley's and my parents, we were both little angel babies; never making a peep (notice I said babies not teenagers. That is a completely different story). So I am not sure why god has sent us an angel looking baby who grunts, groans, cries, poops, farts, twitches, drools, and howls like a little demon.
Don't get me wrong, Kelley and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE our little girl and consider her a blessing and a miracle but there are times when we have both questioned our decision to have kids. We have read other blogs where the mothers tout about having the perfect baby, "my baby never cries, my baby sleeps all the way through the night, I am not sure why everyone says this parenting thing is hard, etc".
All of our friends and family have been very supportive and there have been a lot of ideas and suggestions as to how to best comfort her. All of which work for 5-20 minutes then it is on to the next thing.
One of the most commonly stated suggestions is, "it will get better after 6 weeks, it will get better after 6 months, there's a light at the end of the tunnel". For the most part Kelley and I hope that this is true as we are both running on empty and being tested to the limits of our own personal wits...BUT as soon I start to wish away the time to a day when she is calm, I realize that there are the little moments when she is finally sleeping on my chest after 2+ hours of consoling and shushing. The moments when she looks into my eyes and I feel a connection that runs deep into my soul. These are the moments that are happening as we speak that I would never wish away.
It's like the country song by Trace Adkins, I have come to a realization that someday, I am going to miss these moments. The good the bad and the in between. I have made a promise to both myself and to Sara that I WILL NOT wish away one moment of her life to get to a point where things are easier. I will roll with the punches, wear a smile, and remember these days as some of the most precious days of her little life.
As such one of these moments was taken in this morning when I awoke to Kelley sitting on the couch with Sara in her arms after being up with her most of the night. I could see that Kelley needed some sleep. I grabbed Sara out of her arms as she collapsed into a sleepy state and headed off the the beach for a sunrise walk with my little angel. Our walk was unreal and was one of those moments that someday I will definitely miss.
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3 comments:
Awesome post Ry. Will you send it to us if we get to have another one - at a time when we'll need to read it!!!!
aww what a good daddy you are!!
having a child IS hard! thankfully you will forget the bad and remember the good- or else noone would ever have more than one baby!
hang in there and one more little trick for ya... listen to your eye pod when shes upset- it will help make the crying noise a LITTLE more bearable :)
keep up the great work!!!
Looking forward to it... :)
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